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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24989593">On the Outside Looking In</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters'>doctornineandthreequarters</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>9-1-1 Prompts and Drabbles [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bullying, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Up, Post-Episode: s03e05 Rage, Post-Lawsuit (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:59:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,565</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24989593</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They were heavy-footed walkers and after they started giving Buck a hard time when he came back, Buck started to anticipate when they would hone in on him. </p><p>Usually, it was when no one else was around. God, they made Buck feel like he was back in high school. </p><p>---<br/>Buck's not having the easiest time being back at the 118 after the lawsuit. But one day, things go from bad to worse.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>9-1-1 Prompts and Drabbles [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>677</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>On the Outside Looking In</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: I was hoping you could do a story for 911 after the lawsuit. The 118 has been horrible to Buck, isolating, bullying, etc. Eddie has been keeping Christopher away from Buck, not letting him speak or see him. But Chris is a smart kid &amp; knows something isn't right. One day he convinces Carla to visit Eddie at the station. Instead he shoves past him to Buck who breaks down at first sight. Cue realizations &amp; makeup attempts.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck sighed as he walked into the locker room for the start of his shift. As he walked in Brandon and Dan, two of the other firefighters at the station, grew silent, simply glaring at him. Buck held back another sigh as he went to his locker. </p><p> </p><p>“Why does he even bother coming to work? No one wants him here.” Buck tried to ignore the snide comments from Brandon, the taller of the two with a perfectly buzzed down haircut. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s a good thing Captain Nash won’t let him on calls,” Dan added in. “He’d just get one of us killed and then try to blame the department.” </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe that truck should’ve crushed all of him.” Buck sucked in a breath and he heard the two snicker. </p><p> </p><p>“Mears, Polizzi.” Some relief swamed through him when he heard Hen’s voice. “Cap’s looking for you.” Buck stayed at his locker, not moving, until he heard the door close. “Buck?” He closed his locker and turned to face Hen. “You okay?” He was about to say something when he saw Eddie walk past the locker room. Eddie must’ve noticed Buck, but all he did was roll his eyes and keep walking. Buck grabbed his bag. </p><p> </p><p>“Fine. Just need to get ready for work.” He disappeared deeper into the locker room, trying to stay calm, trying to not break down. </p><p> </p><p>He had fought to come back to work. He wasn’t going to lose his job again.</p>
<hr/><p>Buck was finishing up cleaning one of the trucks later during the shift, when he heard the tell-tale stomps of Brandon and Dan. They were heavy-footed walkers and after they started giving Buck a hard time when he came back, Buck started to anticipate when they would hone in on him. </p><p> </p><p>Usually, it was when no one else was around. God, they made Buck feel like he was back in high school. </p><p> </p><p>“Missed a spot, Buckley,” Brandon said as Dan scrapped a muddy boot on the bumper. Buck didn’t say anything, just kept working. </p><p> </p><p>“Just going to ignore us, Buckley? Wouldn’t want Captain Nash to see what a garbage firefighter you really are.” Buck swallowed the words building up, wanting to point out how little rescues they had been put on when Buck had been at one hundred percent. </p><p> </p><p>Clearly his lack of response, annoyed them, as both shoved past him roughly, knocking him into the truck. Buck just let out a long sigh, before moving to clean the mess they had left. But he paused when he saw Eddie. </p><p> </p><p>“Eddie.” He noticed the brunette’s shoulders tense as Buck called his name. “Eddie, I just want to talk.”</p><p> </p><p>“About what, Buck?” Eddie asked, his tone clipped. </p><p> </p><p>“I just,” Buck twisted the rag in his hand. “I was hoping to come by this Friday for movie night. Maybe hang out with Christopher.”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Buck frowned. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I could just FaceTime him then.”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“But.”</p><p> </p><p>“I said no, Buck.” Eddie started to turn to go, but Buck stopped him. </p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Eddie sighed, a clearly annoyed look on his face. “You said he missed me. You said that you trusted me with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“And then you weren’t there,” Eddie said. “You let your reckless need to get back to work reign over everything else. You pushed him away when he needed you. So forgive me if I’m not ready to let you see my son anytime soon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just leave it alone. Or else.” Eddie then stormed off and Buck squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push his emotions away. It was like, no matter what he did, no one was willing to give him a second chance. Bobby wouldn’t let him on calls, Brandon and Dan were out to make his life a living hell, and now Eddie wouldn’t even let him see Christopher. </p><p> </p><p>He was truly miserable. And there was no end in sight to his misery.</p>
<hr/><p>Going to work felt like a chore. Buck was no longer excited to walk into the station. He was tired of the sympathetic looks from Hen and Chimney. He was tired of Bobby making him the man behind. He was tired of Eddie ignoring him and refusing to let up on his ‘no you can’t see Christopher’ policy. </p><p> </p><p>But mostly, he was tired of Dan and Brandon. </p><p> </p><p>It seemed like every time Buck was at work, they just wanted to make him suffer. They were literally bullying him and Buck had no one to turn to. He was sure he could’ve told Hen and Chimney and they could’ve gotten Bobby to get the two to back off or move their shifts. But he remembered what Eddie had said at the store. How everyone else sucks it up when it comes to their problems. So he wasn’t going to make this about him. He was going to suck it up. </p><p> </p><p>But it seemed that Brandon and Dan had other ideas. </p><p> </p><p>He was lifting weights in the gym area. Eddie had been there a minute ago, but had stepped towards one of the entryways when his phone had buzzed. Hen and Chimney were nearby, hanging out in one of the ambulances, playing cards. Bobby was in his office. </p><p> </p><p>And Brandon and Dan were lurking nearby, watching Buck like a hawk. </p><p> </p><p>He just wanted to ignore them and get a workout in. He was mostly back in shape after months of recovery and PT. He definitely wasn’t as strong as he used to be, but he was slowly getting back to it. He could lift more at his gym near his apartment, when he actually had a spot. Eddie had previously been his spot when they worked out at the station, but since Eddie barely spoke to him, he had to keep his reps to weights under a certain weight. </p><p> </p><p>He let out a startled gasp when the barbell dropped down onto his chest. Too much weight was on each side and he couldn’t lift it. He glanced to each side, seeing Brandon and Dan snickering at the added weight. He realized they had both added a forty five pound plate to each side, making the weight too heavy for Buck to lift. </p><p> </p><p>“Bet that feels like the ladder truck, huh.” Buck let out a strangled gasp, struggling to get free. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?” He could hear footsteps approaching, but his vision was starting to grow spotty as the barbell was limiting the amount of air he could get in. </p><p> </p><p>And then, everything went dark.</p>
<hr/><p>Eddie stepped away from the gym as soon as his phone buzzed. He was glad to, if he was being honest. He still couldn’t deal with being around Buck. Maybe he was being cruel, but the lawsuit had soured his opinion of Buck and he didn’t know how to get past it. Bobby wasn’t, which meant he wasn’t being too cruel. </p><p> </p><p>He tilted his head, reading a text from Carla, confused what it meant. </p><p> </p><p><em> Visiting </em>. It read. What the heck did that mean?</p><p> </p><p>“Daddy!” He looked up from his phone, hearing Christopher’s voice. He spotted his son making his way towards him, Carla right behind him. </p><p> </p><p>“Mijo, what are you doing here? I thought you had a playdate at the park.” He glanced at Carla, who simply pursed her lips.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to play with Katie today,” Christopher said. “I want to see Buck.” Eddie frowned. “Is he here? Can I say hi to him?” Eddie glanced at Carla, who almost had a challenging look on her face as she stared back at him. </p><p> </p><p>Before Eddie could respond, they were interrupted by loud noises behind them.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie spun around seeing Hen and Chimney running over to the gym. His eyes widened as he saw Buck struggling under a barbell. He turned back towards Carla, about to tell her to get Christoper out of there. </p><p> </p><p>But Christopher had already seen. </p><p> </p><p>“Buck!” Christopher was moving towards Buck as Eddie followed after his son. </p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, help me!” Chimney said, trying to lift the barbell. Eddie helped him lift the barbell, eyes widening at the weight on it. It was too heavy for anyone to bench on their own. What had Buck been thinking?</p><p> </p><p>“Buckaroo, you with me?” Hen was checking over Buck. Eddie tried to stop Christopher, but his son ducked around him, moving so he was right by the bench. </p><p> </p><p>“Buck?” He asked, fear in his voice. Hen was still checking over Buck, when Buck gasped for air. Hen was able to move out of the way as he shot up, breathing heavily. Eddie watched as he looked around, almost a fearful look on his face, especially when he saw Brandon and Dan. But then he spotted Christopher. </p><p> </p><p>“Christopher, what-” The boy quickly ditched his crutches, pulling himself into Buck’s lap. Buck hugged him tightly, short, panicked breaths coming out of his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“I missed you,” Christopher said, hugging him back. Eddie watched in horror as Buck broke down at that, his breaths growing more labored.</p><p> </p><p>“Someone care to explain what’s going on here?” Everyone looked up to see Bobby standing there, a confused and unamused look on his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Mears and Polizzi nearly crushed Buck with a barbell,” Chimney said, glaring at the two firefighters in the corner. Bobby raised an eyebrow. </p><p> </p><p>“We didn’t do anything,” Brandon said. “Buckley was just being stupid, lifting too much.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t call Buck stupid!” Christopher shouted, glaring at the two firefighters. Bobby looked at Buck, who hadn’t said anything or even looked up.</p><p> </p><p>“Mears, Polizzi, my office now.” The two firefighters grumbled, but did as they were told. “Buck? You okay, son?” Hen took that moment to move his shirt a little. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s got some bruising, but that’s probably because of the blood thinners,” Hen said. “But he should probably get checked out by a doctor.”</p><p> </p><p>“Buck?” The younger firefighter finally glanced up at Bobby, tears in his eyes. “I think you should go to the hospital.”</p><p> </p><p>“But-” There was a fear in Buck’s voice. Like he was terrified that if he left, he’d never come back. </p><p> </p><p>“Just so we know you’re okay,” Bobby said. “So you can come into work for your next shift.” Buck just nodded, though his lip quivered a little. </p><p> </p><p>“I can drive him,” Carla said. Buck looked at Eddie, almost expecting the older man to say something. When he didn’t, watching Buck with a sad look on his face, Buck just stood up slowly. Christopher clung to his neck, not wanting to let go. “Come on Buckaroo.” Buck looked at Chimney. </p><p> </p><p>“Will you, uh…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll call Maddie.” Buck nodded as Carla grabbed Christopher’s crutches. He then followed her out of the station. </p><p> </p><p>Then, everyone grew quiet. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to kill those two jackasses,” Hen said, shaking her head. “What the hell were they thinking?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to get to the bottom of that,” Bobby said. “And then figure out some shift changes.” Then, Bobby turned and headed towards his office. Hen and Chimney then left the area, Chimney already calling Maddie. But Eddie stood there, staring at the bench where Buck had been sitting. He was trying to process everything that had just happened. But he knew one thing for sure.</p><p> </p><p>He had messed up. Badly.</p>
<hr/><p>Buck sat at his kitchen table, ignoring the twinge of pain every time he breathed. The doctor had said he would be sore for a few days, but he was fine other than that. He did have a nasty bruise from the barbell across his chest, but that was mainly because of the blood thinners. </p><p> </p><p>Carla had stayed with him at the hospital, mostly because Christopher refused to let go of him. But when they had finished at the hospital, Carla drove both of them back to Buck’s apartment. After making sure they were both set and cooking some food, she had left, leaving Buck and Christopher. Christopher, ever a smart kid, babbled on happily about school and his friends, sensing a distraction was necessary. And then, they had watched movies, Christopher pressed against his side (only after making sure he wasn’t hurting Buck). A movie and a half in, Christopher fell asleep and Buck decided he’d be more comfortable on the bed. So, he carried him upstairs, glad the boy was so light. </p><p> </p><p>And now, he was sitting at the table, just sort of staring into the dark. He hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights, too caught up in his own thoughts. Today had been a mess. While he was grateful that he was okay and he had gotten to spend time with Christopher, he could only expect bad things to come. He was sure as soon as Eddie was done with work he was going to pick up Christopher and go back to ignoring him and not letting him see Chris. And then there was Bobby. He was sure his captain was going to continue to make him be the man behind after what Brandon and Dan had done. </p><p> </p><p>It almost made him wish he had never come back. He had fought so hard to be even more miserable than before. He was starting to wonder what was the point, when a knock at the door broke him out of his thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>He flicked the lights on as he approached the door. He was a little startled to see both Bobby and Eddie standing there. </p><p> </p><p>“Can we come in?” Bobby asked. Buck just nodded wordlessly, letting them walk in. </p><p> </p><p>“Where’s-” Eddie started and Buck just nodded towards the loft. Eddie nodded and then headed up the stairs. </p><p> </p><p>“Mears and Polizzi have been suspended.” Buck turned towards Bobby, a shocked expression on his face. “Hen and Chimney said both of them loaded the barbell with extra weight and a few other people confirmed they had been giving you a hard time for a while now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bobby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just let me speak, okay?” Buck nodded. “Their actions aren’t acceptable and when their suspension is up, they’re going to a different station. But I also owe you an apology.” Buck tilted his head at that. “I’m the Captain, I should’ve noticed that they were up to no good. And I should’ve been treating you fairly. And for that I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that and you certainly don’t deserve to be stuck at the station every day.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to prove I could still do my job,” Buck said quietly. </p><p> </p><p>“And you have gone above and beyond proving that,” Bobby said. “How long does the doctor want you to rest?”</p><p> </p><p>“A week.” Bobby nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Well after that, you’re back on calls.” Buck stared at Bobby in awe, not sure he was really hearing him correctly. “You’re a firefighter Buck, and a damn good one. It’s about time I start letting you do your job again.” Buck just smiled a little, still processing what he was hearing. “I should get going, but I’ll see you at work.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Bobby.” Bobby nodded, patting his shoulder before leaving. Once he was gone, Buck let out a breath. He was going to be allowed on calls again. He was finally going to be able to do his job. He couldn’t help but smile. </p><p> </p><p>“Everything okay?” He turned, hearing Eddie’s voice. The brunette was coming down the stairs. Buck noticed he was by himself. “I decided to just let Christopher keep sleeping.” Buck just nodded. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, they both stood there in silence. “So, uh, what did Bobby say?”</p><p> </p><p>“He just let me know what was happening with Brandon and Dan.”</p><p> </p><p>“I never liked those guys.”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re bullies,” Buck said and Eddie frowned. “They had an easy target.” Eddie shook his head and stepped towards Buck. </p><p> </p><p>“You shouldn’t have had to deal with that by yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well the person I would’ve turned to told me to suck it up and then stopped talking to me.” Buck knew it was harsh, but Eddie had been nothing but harsh to him the last few weeks.</p><p> </p><p>“Buck, I’m so sorry,” Buck avoided his gaze, choosing to stare at his bare feet instead. “What I said to you at the grocery store...that was cruel and I shouldn’t have said it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I could deal with you saying all of that,” Buck said, sniffing a little, tears pricking at the side of his eyes. “It’s nothing worse than what I’ve thought of myself these past few months. But you yelled at me for not being there for Chris and then you wouldn’t let me near him.” He looked up at Eddie, tears in his eyes. “You can’t tell me you trust me with him one minute and then rip him away from me. God Eddie, I love that kid. I’d do anything for him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Buck huffed a few tears slipping down his cheeks. “And Buck, I was wrong at the grocery store. I was angry about the lawsuit and that skeevy lawyer bringing up Shannon, but you’re not exhausting. You wanted your job back and we should’ve listened. I should’ve listened.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why didn't you?” Buck asked. “Why were you so determined to tell me to suck it up?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because that’s what I’ve always done. That’s how my dad taught me to deal with problems.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t be healthy.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not,” Eddie said with a sigh. “And I can see that now with Chris. I don’t want him to be so emotionally stunted. I need to be more open so he can be.”</p><p> </p><p>“And how do you plan on doing that?” Buck against, wiping some of his tears away. </p><p> </p><p>“By being honest.” Eddie stepped closer, leaving very little space between the two. “Buck, I’ve been a jerk to you for awhile now and I’m sorry. I just...you’ve almost died three times now. And if something ever happened to you I don’t...I don’t know what I’d do. Christopher needs you. I need you.”</p><p> </p><p>Buck watched Eddie as he spoke, taken aback by the sincerity and honesty of his words. He thought Eddie had pushed him away because he lost Christopher and then because of the lawsuit. He never figured it was because of the exact opposite. And then, as he searched Eddie’s eyes, he was hit with a wave of something he had pushed down when Eddie started ignoring him, a feeling he hadn’t let himself have in a long time. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Eddie huffed out a breath, a smile on his face. “You don’t have to say it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I want to. I need to.” Any space that was left between them Eddie got rid of, pressing so close to Buck that he could feel Eddie’s breath on his lips. “I love you Buck. I’m in love with you. I have been for awhile now.”</p><p> </p><p>Buck didn’t know what to say. His head was swarming with thoughts, his heart beating a little faster, and well...everything south was pretty interested too. But he didn’t know how to express it, didn’t know how to tell Eddie just how in love with him he was. </p><p> </p><p>So he kissed him instead. </p><p> </p><p>Eddie fingers found their way into his hair, at first just sitting there and then tugging when he realized the noise it elicited from Buck. Buck had his hands on Eddie’s waist, fingers gripping tightly, probably enough to leave a mark. He didn’t care. He wanted people to know. Eddie was his and he was Eddie’s. </p><p> </p><p>They both pulled away, gasping for air. Buck let his forehead fall against Eddie’s and smiled. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you too, if that wasn’t obvious.” Eddie chuckled and smiled. He leaned in for another kiss, slow and sweet this time. </p><p> </p><p>“Buck?” They both glanced towards the stairs, hearing Christopher’s voice. </p><p> </p><p>“Duty calls,” Eddie said, tugging Buck towards the stairs. Buck just smiled the whole way up, already memorizing the feeling of Eddie’s fingers entangled with his. “Hey mijo.” Eddie sat down on the bed and Christopher leaned against him sleepily.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we just stay here tonight daddy?” Christopher asked, sleepily rubbing his eye. Eddie glanced at Buck, an adoring look on his face. </p><p> </p><p>“If it’s okay with Buck.” And Buck just smiled. </p><p> </p><p>“More than okay.” Christopher just yawned, earning a chuckle from Eddie, who quickly helped him lie back down. Buck, who was already in comfortable clothing, settled down on the left side of the bed, Christopher moving to press against his side. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you have-”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, go for it.” Eddie nodded, moving about the apartment to find more comfortable clothing. Buck, finally feeling the exhaustion of the day he had had, let his eyes drift shut for a moment, soothed by the comfort of Eddie’s soft footsteps in the loft and Christopher’s even breathing next to him. </p><p> </p><p>When he felt the bed dip, he opened his eyes, turning his head to see Eddie. Eddie just smiled at him, reaching a hand over Christopher’s head and towards Buck’s face. Buck let out a small noise of contentment when Eddie’s thumb gently caressed his birthmark. As his eyes again began to drift shut, he couldn’t help but smile.</p><p> </p><p>Long gone was any pain from his chest or fear of firehouse bullies. Now, he was full of love and happiness; happiness for finally getting to do the job he was meant to do and love because he was near two of the people he loved most on that earth.</p><p> </p><p>He fell asleep knowing he was safe and loved.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="http://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com">Scream with me on my Tumblr?</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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